Mindless Refresh

I have been thinking about how I spend my time in a typical hour. In my mind, I spend the full hour working on something concrete, something that will push me towards my goals and dreams. However, I have come to realise the reality is entirely different.

If I’m brutally honest with myself, I’m wasting large chunks of the hour on completely unnecessary, mindless activities. Let me give you some examples. I check my email, perhaps every ten minutes, I scroll through seeing what’s come in. I don’t respond there and then, but it still consumes my thinking and brain.

Next comes looking at stats. Oh boy, there are loads of these to waste time on. I can look at our emailing software and see how customers are engaging and interactive in real time with the marketing emails we send.

Then there is the live analytics from our website, showing what pages our visitors are on and how they came upon our site. Then there is the scent sample request spreadsheet, wondering who has just signed up and what scents did they choose. Who has written a product review, commented on the blog, posted on Facebook?

The list of distractions goes on and on. I think I’m working, being busy, but my activity is more like a mindless voyeur. I am jumping from one distraction to the next, hopping like a frog. I’m not doing any actual work. At no point throughout this have I made any progress towards my goal. I haven’t done anything of substance. I haven’t done anything real. I have wasted the last hour. Distracted and focused on my ego.

I have just finished reading Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. It’s a great book, thought-provoking and intelligently written. One of the key messages I took away is to stop mistaking activity for progress.

All the activities listed above are feeding my ego. Sure, looking at them, considering them once per day or more likely once per week has value. They provide useful insights into our customers and how they interact with what we do. But looking at them a few times an hour does not.  It is wasteful, non-productive, egotistical and addictive.

I have battled addiction all my life, and I’m very conscious of activities that make my brain feel like gambling. Clicking the refresh button is like pulling the handle on a slot machine. I receive small dopamine hits each time I do it. I know instinctively that for my mental health, this is terrible news.

Are you guilty of the same kind of mindless, wasteful activity? Are you kidding yourself that you are working, when you are checking email or browsing Instagram? Are you clicking refresh to see how many likes or shares your post has received? Is your ego taking over?

It feels like activity. You kid yourselves that all action is good right! You are working, so you must be moving towards your goals. But this is a fool’s journey. We are deluding ourselves. The acid test is are we making ACTUAL PROGRESS. The answer sadly is no. When you check stats, obsessively refreshing the screen you are not making progress, you are treading water. You are stoking your ego. Dreaming and wasting time.

I believe the solution is to time limit these activities. Turn off the notifications and to set clear boundaries around when and how you look at them. I’m going to go cold turkey on them over the coming days.

I can already feel how hard it’s going to be. My fingers itch to “just have a quick look”, to check one more time. I know from previous experience that when my mind reacts to changes like this that I’m on the right track. Knowledge doesn’t make the process any easier though!

Do you recognise this pattern in yourself? The first step is to acknowledge that you are doing it. From there, the key as with any addiction is to understand that it is a coping response to strong emotional feelings. In this case I suspect that we are fearful of doing the work. So instead we submit to mindless activity in order to protect ourselves from the feelings that doing the work bring upon us.

Its tough to overcome this. Ultimately the only solution. Is to take a step every day towards your goals. Create emotional strength by taking small deliberate actions every day. Make a commitment to yourself that you can live the life you have always dreamed of. It will come when you are honest with yourself about doing the work. Make sure that everything you do is real work and producing real progress. Ask yourself constantly, is this activity creating progress or am I just appearing busy. You can do it.

Long before others believe, you must believe it’s possible. Remember, we climb the mountain, not in giant leaps but one small step at a time.

Thanks For Reading!

Hi, I’m Luke Bream, the author of this blog, one of the co-founders of Valentte, hillwalker, cyclist, dreamer and an eternal optimist! My writing is focused on learning how we create the life we have always imagined, become the person we have always wanted to be in order to fulfill the dreams and goals we have set ourselves. I believe there is a power within each of us to achieve whatever we commit to mastering. Want to hear more? Read my full story. (coming soon…)

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8 replies on “Mindless Refresh

  • Lisa

    Totally agree, having just set up a business page On facebook, i can literally spend hours over the course of a day wasting away my precious time, checking, and double checking my page and email. It’s not productive it’s exhausting. I am stopping, right now.

    Reply
    • Valentte

      Hi Lisa
      Thanks for sharing your story. I hope that your page is a success and that we can both ditch these bad habits, and focus on making real progress towards our goals rather than the illusionary progress of clicking refresh.
      Best Wishes
      Luke x

      Reply
  • j.whitehurst2

    hi Luke I think we meet you at one of the flower shows when I was buying some candles and you very kindly gifted my husband tickets for the game fair (which was a lovely thing to do) I know what you mean about not making any real progress I am surrounded by my mother in laws stuff(she is going in a nursing home in the morning)I would just love to get straight and start doing the things I want to do instead of running round after every one else, I am 75 and you have inspired me to start to say NO and to get off the lap top and start on this clutter, thank you.Jean Whitehurst. ps I love your blog.

    Reply
    • Valentte

      Hi Jean
      I remember you guys. Thank you for your kind words about the blog and for sharing your story. It makes a big difference to me and others when we know we are not alone in feeling the way we do. I think creating new “daily-action” focused habits is the key. Don’t think you have to get everything sorted or cleared on day one. Just build something manageable into your daily schedule and then do it. It’s amazing what you can accomplish through daily small activities over a week or month or a year. It’s a powerful way to change in tiny small steps.
      Best Wishes
      Luke x

      Reply
  • Julie little

    This rings so true I always think I’m working but yes I’m reality no I’m not I’m like u distractions on the phone , very inspirational and love reading yr messages to us all makes us stop and think , I am always thinking about the next thing to do with my work but not putting it into practice 👍 thanks Luke

    Reply
  • nicola

    Hi Luke,

    I think what you are doing is work as you are an on line business which relies heavily on social media to manage and transform your business as you go. Your mind is far cleverer than you think. I feel that you are being intelligently led to carry out your activities by your sub conscious “knowing” and its intelligence. This will then translate into astute business making decisions or as unexpected “a ha” moments which you will have no idea how they came to you . Our brains are the most sophisticated computers alive today . I think that you are working far harder than you realise in a customer centric way, and i feel that we are judging what we deem to be Working by out dated concepts. Well thats my opinion anyway ! This is not addiction, its sensible business management in an on line social media world of sales. Don’t over Worry.

    Reply

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