Is Life Getting In The Way?

Over Christmas, I have found myself thinking about the quality of my relationships. Particularly those it’s easy to take for granted. The relationship with my father has suffered over the last few years. Not in an obvious way. Not in an argument and falling out kind of way. But through not spending enough quality time together.

He lives abroad, has a new partner who doesn’t particularly like visiting England, and splits his time between four countries. No smartphone and not being very “chatty” on the phone accentuate the problem. He’s busy. I’m busy. Life was getting in the way.

He visits for a few hours every three or four months, but somehow it felt like something was missing. The spark of a meaningful connection was not there.

Do you recognise this situation in your own life? Have you got friends or relatives where the relationship is suffering through a lack of contact? Are you both too busy to connect in a meaningful way?

I tried talking about it with him. But that didn’t work. It was impossible to do so without it is sounding like an accusation or a criticism. The fault was with me too, not just on his side. I was equally busy and distracted by my own life.

Us, men are not great at talking about these kinds of situations. So, in the end, I arranged a walking trip for the two of us in the Peak District. What a success. We spent two days in my caravan, cooking and eating together, walking ten or twelve miles each day. Chatting, laughing, exploring and most importantly, re-connecting. Just like old times. We parted with the commitment of doing it again, next time he was in the UK.

Reconnecting with your loved ones through a shared interest is a powerful way to rebuild your relationship. Can you reach out and suggest a trip, a journey or an activity that you can do together. It’s especially good if it’s one that you used to do together and both love? The activity you are engaged in occupies your attention and so takes the pressure off and reminds you both why your relationship is so special.

Have fun together. Connecting through a shared passion is a powerful way to bond. Remember, we climb the mountain, not in giant leaps but one small step at a time.

Thanks For Reading!

Hi, I'm Luke Bream, the author of this blog, one of the co-founders of Valentte, hillwalker, cyclist, dreamer and an eternal optimist! My writing is focused on learning how we create the life we have always imagined, become the person we have always wanted to be in order to fulfill the dreams and goals we have set ourselves. I believe there is a power within each of us to achieve whatever we commit to mastering. Want to hear more? Read my full story. (coming soon...)

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7 thoughts on “Is Life Getting In The Way?”

  1. I’m new to Valentte Luke but I just wanted to say how much I’m enjoying reading your blogs. They are good for thought and some are very relevant so thank you.

  2. Again this hit some points & made me think .
    My father is 80, has ridden all of his life professionally and semiprofessional he is now partially lost his eyesight cannot drive but every other week we take time to go and ride one of his retired hunters are right next to him to make sure he’s alright and it’s a special time so again I thank you for your blogs. Keep them coming . Louise

    • HI Louise
      Thank you for your very kind words about the blog. I love your story about helping your Father to continue riding. It’s a reminder to us all that we can choose the life we want to lead.
      If we decide we are too old or not capable then that becomes our truth. If on the other hand, we choose to see ourselves as “able” to do it, then that too becomes our reality. The stories we tell ourselves when we look in the mirror dictate who we are.
      Thanks for being part of our community.
      Luke x


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